On Saturday as my friends and I were running on the treadmills, a sweet man asked us this question; "What is the difference between a gift and a present?"
"Gifts are from the HEART, they take TIME and LOVE. Presents are the things we give when we don't have time to give gifts!"
He encouraged us to give GIFTS this year. I loved what he said but I had no idea what a profound impact those words would have on me later that day.
We went to visit my Grandma Pink in a rest home. She has been sick for so long. We thought she was going to die years ago but has held on. It has been so hard to watch because the woman that was so active, raising a wonderful family, living on a farm, being a nurse, burying her husband (33 years ago) being a great grandma and great grandma, choosing to give everything she had to the Lord by serving 6 missions; was now unable to go a day without horrible pain.
Grandma had fallen the day before and the side of her face was bandaged up and very bruised and swollen. We weren't sure if she wanted the kids to see her like that so Matt and I entered the room and the first thing she asked was "Where are the kids?"
When Matt went out to get the kids she told me she was going to die. She told me how scared she was because she didn't want to be alone when it happened. I told her Grandpa would be waiting for her and it was going to be so wonderful. She told me she wasn't afraid of that part. She was afraid of being alone when it happened. I told her that the Lord new her prayer and her biggest wish. I was sure it would be granted.
When the kids came in they each hugged her frail and tiny body. She was so weak. Emily read her "If you give a pig a party" which just happened to be one of Grandmas favorites. She asked Emily if it was OK if she closed her eyes. Emily said that was fine but she still made sure that Grandma got to see all the pictures :)
She asked Thomas to sing his solo that he did a few years back. He has become famous for his ability to sing "When the moon hits your eye like a big piece of pie.... that's Amore' "
Matt suggested we sing "Silent night" she called Thomas over to the bed to join the rest of us and held his hand as we all gathered around her bed and sang. I could barely get the words out. The spirit was SO STRONG. Grandma looked like an angel. We finished with "I am a Child of God" while Matt gave her a light message on her tender shoulders. (she LOVED his messages!)
She then asked Matt to say a word of prayer. We all took hands and he prayed that my grandma would have added strength to be able to endure the pain. He prayed for her comfort and peace. It was beautiful.
As we were getting ready to leave, Grandma apologized for not having any gifts for us this year. This is when the difference between gifts and presents became very real!
I told Grandma what the man had told me earlier that morning. I told her that she gives us GIFTS every single day of the year. She has always showered us with so much love and sincere concern. She has been an example in so many ways, including these last few years on how to keep going and enduring the hardest of trials with so much patience and faith.
She still wanted to give us something so she gave us a Christmas tin. It is just a little tin with nothing inside because we made her keep the yummy chocolates for herself. I will cherish this tin because it is the last gift my Grandma gave to us before leaving this life.
My dad called at 1:08 am this morning. I knew what it was. Even though Grandma has been sick for a very long time, this last visit was different. We were telling her goodbye.
I am so grateful we had this opportunity to spend this priceless time with her. It will serve as a reminder of who my grandma was. She LOVED the gospel with all her heart. She shared her testimony whenever she could. She shared it not only through words but more importantly through the way she lived!
We are all wearing pink (her favorite color) in honor of her today (Jacqueline's idea of course!) We are also hoping to get everyone to wear pink at the funeral :)
I seriously feel so much gratitude and JOY for my grandma because she is finally FREE! She is with Grandpa, her mother, her brother and others who have passed on before. She is probably dancing all around because she doesn't have any more pain.
I am so grateful for the knowledge we have that we WILL see her again and that she truly is in a better place. She has finished her earthly test and has now begun the next stage. This is part of the plan. Gods great and glorious plan!
Goodbye for now my sweet Grandma, until we meet again!
Thank you for everything!
I love you.