Emily has been struggling with anxiety the last few months. In talking with my friends I realized this was more than I could handle on my own so we went to an amazing psychologist yesterday.
Summer was SO cute with Emily and she warmed up to her right away. After a little heads up from me, Summer asked Emily if she has anything she worries about. "No", Summer asked her if Mom could give some ideas and Emily reluctantly agreed.
As soon as I said the word "smoking" Emily got tears in her eyes and RAN to my lap. She did NOT want to talk about SMOKING! This has become a huge fear for her. Whenever we see someone smoking she FREAKS out, closing her eyes and shaking and screaming at me not to say that word. She is afraid it is going to hurt her, she is afraid that she will want to smoke.
Summer talked about 2 parts in our brain, the "feeling part" and the "thinking part" She explained to both of us that these two parts can't work together. Emily asked her "How can I turn on my thinking part?"
"Great question! You have to ask yourself a question. Everyone has their own brains and everyone makes their own choices." "Emily, I can tell you make good choices, do you think you would ever choose to smoke? NO WAY! That's because you make good choices!"
Summer went on to talk about 2 ways we can face our fears. One way is running away, trying to pretend it's not there, which makes the problem bigger and bigger. The other way is to face it or talk about it.
She told Emily about her fear of spiders. She told her she learned to say the word spider by saying it in a crazy voice over and over. She finally faced her fear and realized she was bigger then any spider was. She asked Emily to say the word SMOKING. Summer said it in crazy voices and Emily kept trying to but she just couldn't get it out.
Finally she did it! She screamed "SMOKING"! and then she did it again! I can't describe the look on her face and the way her body totally relaxed. She was FREE!
A few minutes later she told Summer, and her dad last night, "As soon as I said SMOKING all my fear left my body"
It was so cute because she was telling Summer how she is practicing being brave going downstairs by herself.
Summer was so impressed and told her she said the MAGIC WORD...PRACTICE! She told her that is the way to face our fears, and remember they don't go away over night.
I know Emily's anxieties aren't over but with PRACTICE, she is going to be able to FACE her fears.
I saw a renewed confidence in her yesterday that was so encouraging! I am so proud of her.I am so grateful we went and that Summer gave me tools to help not only her but all of us! It has really inspired me to take a look at my own fears, stop running from them and face them head on!
6 comments:
That is AWESOME!! SO thankful for help when you can't do it all! SO thankful that there are wonderful people out there that help a sweet girl with her anxieties!
Glad you could meet Summer. She is amazing and has a great way with helping kids and helping parents understand things. My favorite was when she explained that you can't think and feel at the same time - so when you are extremely scared or worried, it's hard to think logically. No wonder when my kids are throwing tantrums that I can't reason with them. :)
Way to go Em...
Em is so amazing how hard she will try to make the right choices, I'm so glad you found Summer, I know Em is going to conquer any fears she has, she iss not a quitter. Great Job Em!!!!!!!
That sounds like a great experience. Thank you for sharing it so that the rest of us can learn how to face fears too. Jill, you are so inspiring and a wonderful mom!!!! Emily is so blessed to have you as her mom!
Summer is really awesome! Emily was so cute yesterday. She said that Summer said she couldn't draw good but Emily thought her drawing of a brain was a great oval! :)
-Kenzie
You must feel so blessed! What a great learning experience for all of us. I love that Emily is always thinking and seeks to understand things for herself. I love being around her constant questions and comments.
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